SPECIAL FOCUS

Golf Parent
Do's & Don'ts

Youth often pay the price when parents play the coach

BY BOB KOMARINETZ

"I can't begin to tell you how many times I've stood by and watched junior golfers with a lot of talent fall short of their potential because of a parent or parents who pushed them to a point where me game is no longer tun."

During my career, I've been blessed in many ways. One in particular has been the opportunity to work with junior golfers. The experience working with these kids and watching them grow and mature, not only as golfers but as human beings, has been very rewarding to say the least.

It is a genuine pleasure to watch youngsters develop into real superstars. I've watched, in some cases, youngsters spend endless hours practicing and reaping the rewards of their hard work. They must understand it's not just the hard work involved in developing a perfect golf swing, but also their emotional development which is a major attribute of the top-notch tournament player.

But along with the many successes, I have seen disappointment. Many problems arise as a result of attitude—parent's attitude.

I strongly believe a parent's role should be that of spectator and rooter only.

I can't begin to tell you how many times I've stood by and watched junior golfers with a lot of talent fall short of their potential because of a parent or parents who pushed them to a point where the game is no longer fun—the point where they could no longer handle the pressure. Many times a child will rebel, lose interest and sometimes give up the game entirely. This happens too often.

Playing golf competitively, or any sport for that matter, requires a great deal of emotional stamina and inner development. This cannot be taught, only experienced. The more often a youngster finds himself in a competitive situation the better he will be able to handle it. For example: Its normal to be nervous when competing and its normal to choke to some degree. The more competitive a child is, the better equipped he will be to handle these situations. Success under these conditions, builds self- esteem, self-worth and character. Combined, these attributes build confidence. When parents become insistent about a child practicing, playing and competing, they are adding to the emotional pressure a young athlete feels. Furthermore, if a child doesn't do well, he should never be quizzed about his performance. Golf, like any sport, is a game. Playing it should be fun. I'm not saying these parents don't want the best for their children, most do. But this is not the way to handle the matter. Here are a few suggestions for parents who may have a son or daughter with the desire and talent to play golf. First and foremost, find a qualified coach, preferably a PGA professional. Select someone who has experience working with

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junior golfers and, just as important, has an excellent rapport with you child.

Never, never, never act as your child's coach. Just be there for support and encouragement. I can't stress enough the importance of this single statement.

Following these suggestions could mean the difference between a standout and someone who may never play and enjoy the game.

Sometimes parents lose sight of the fact that youngsters face a lot of peer pressure every day. Adding the pressure associated with competition makes it more difficult. Pressure put on by a parent only compounds the problem. Resist the temptation. It just might be the best thing you ever did for your son or daughter.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh. But parents need to be cautious. Sometimes we forget we are dealing with children with aspiring futures. We must remember kids are people and need to be treated as such.

You may think because you have given your youngster every opportunity to do well, you have succeeded as a parent.

In reality, you may have failed.

BOB KOMARINETZ
is the director of golf for the Sandridge Golf Club, Vero Beach, Florida, and the director of Florida's Treasure Coast junior Golf Program. Originally published in the Press-Journal, Wednesday, December 22,1993, the article is reprinted with permission granted by Bob Komorinetz.

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