Golf is a game that may generate more notable quotes than any other single sport. Authors wax poetic, humorists cant resist it and the sports own elite try to synthesize its lessons into a single thought. It is a game that can be defined by all those who play it in a variety of ways depending on the quality of their play on a given day. In the final analysis, golf is a game that is at once exhilarating and frustrating; a game, like life, that leaves each of us with a hint of hope for a better tomorrow. Students of the game may find inspiration in the following golfing wisdom. |
Golf Defined
"Golf is a game in which a
ball one-and-a-half inches in
diameter is placed on a ball
8, 000 miles in diameter. The
object is to hit the small ball but not the
larger."
-John Cunningham
"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore,'
shoot six, and write down five."
Paul Harvey
"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play
it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's
golf."
- Bob Hope
"It's just good sportsmanship not to pick
up lost balls while they are still rolling."
- Mark Twain
"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very
small ball into an even smaller hole, with
weapons singularly ill-designed for that
purpose."
- Winston Churchill
"Professional golf is the only sport where,
if you win 20 percent of the time, you're
the best."
- Jack Nicklaus
"I like golf because it's a walk in the park. There's an honor system, and that's really
36 Illinois Parks and Recreation
'NOTABLE QUOTABLES" ON GOLF
valuable. It's character building. I know it's
made me a better human being."
- Craig T. Nelson-
Golf Tips
"One of the advantages
bowling has over golf is chat
you seldom lose a bowling
ball."
- Don Carter
"It won't help to tell yourself, 'Don't hit it
in the water.' Your mind will only hear
'water.'"
- Bob Rotella
"If the foursome following is pressing you,
wave them through and then speed up."
- Deane Berman
"The reason the golf pro tells you to keep
your head down is so you can't see him
laughing."
- Phyllis Diller
"If you think it's hard to meet new people,
try picking up the wrong golf ball."
- Jack Lemmon
"Talking to a golf ball won't do you any
good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off."
- Bruce Lansky
"Hit the ball and when you find it, hit it
again."
- Don January, on how to play golf
The Rich and
Famous
"I never pray on the golf
course. Actually, the Lord
answers my prayers everywhere except on
the course."
- Reverend Billy Graham
"I know I'm getting better at golf because
I'm hitting fewer spectators."
- Gerald R. Ford
"The place of the father in the modern
suburban family is a very small one,
particularly if he plays golf."
- Bertrand Russell
"How has retirement affected my golf
game? A lot more people beat me now."
- Dwight D. Elsenhower
"Why am I using a new putter? Because
the last one didn't float too well."
- Craig Stadler
"Golf—makes liars out of honest men,
cheats out of altruists, cowards out of brave
men and fools out of everybody."
- Milton Gross
"Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen
you tee off before and knows that the
safest place to be when you play is right
down the middle."
- Jackie Gleason
"If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to
your ear, like a conch shell, and listen - you
will hear an alibi."
- Fred Beck
Golf Wisdom
"Never bet with anyone you
meet on the first tee who has
a deep suntan, a one iron in
his bag, and squinty eyes."
- Dave Marr
"If profanity had an influence on the flight
of the ball, the game would be played far
better than it is."
- Horace Hutchinson
"The property score for a businessman
golfer is 90. If he is better than that he is
neglecting his business. If he's worse, he's
neglecting his golf."
- St. Andrew's Rotary Member
"A professional will tell you the amount of
flex you need in the shaft of your club.
The more the flex, the more strength you
will need to break the thing over your
knees."
- Stephen Baker
"There are three ways of learning golf: by
study, which is the most wearisome; by
imitation, which is the most fallacious; and
by experience, which is the most bitter."
- Robert Browning
"Water holes are sacrificial waters where
you make a steady gift of your pride and
high-priced balls."
- Tommy Bolt
The Course
"A good golf course makes
you want to play so badly
that you hardly have the time
to change your shoes."
- Ben Crenshaw
"You don't go home and talk about the
great tennis courts that you played, but
you do talk about the golf courses you
played."
- Hank Ketcham
"Always count your blessings. Be thankful
you are able to be out on a beautiful
course. Most people in the world don't
have that opportunity."
- Fred Couples
Final Thoughts
"Regardless of what the tour
pros think, golf is a rich and
varied game, and what all of
us awkward fools do on weekends is what
golf is truly all about."
- Den Jenkins
"Sport is singularly able to give us peak
experience where we feel completely one
with the world and transcend all conflicts
as we finally become our own potential."
- George A. Sheehan
"He enjoys that perfect peace, that peace
beyond all understanding, which comes at
its maximum only to the man who has
given up golf."
- P.G.Wodehouse
PETER M. MURPHY
is an avid golfer and general counsel for the Illinois Association of
Park Districts. His game has improved significantly after reading
and adopting The Official Exceptions To the Rules of Golf by Henry
Beard. He recommends this publication for your game as we//.
March/April 1 999 ¦ 37